


unerwiderte liebe

by donoftheprima



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: :'), Excessive Talk of Fields/Flower Beds, F/M, Idk How To Summarize This So Uh, Idk if This Counts as Teen or General So?, M/M, Melchior is a bit of an Asshole, Moritz is Sad Loney and Gay, My First Work in This Fandom, Old Memories (of Them as Kids), Or Well Kinda Unrequited, Title is in German but the Fic is in English, Unrequited Love, Warning: Brief Mention of Abuse, Wendla Isn't in This That Much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donoftheprima/pseuds/donoftheprima
Summary: Moritz woefully remembers a time when they were younger where Melchior said he loved him, and how different things are now.





	unerwiderte liebe

**Author's Note:**

> hi, just some quick clarification but this fic is inspired by the song Water Fountain by Alec Benjamin, so i recommend listening to that before reading this, but you don't have to, here's a link in case you want to tho: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSJSPWKKa94  
> thx!

    As Moritz watched Melchior and Wendla share meaningful glances from across the field, a familiar ache filled his chest.  
    Melchior used to look at him like that and it hurt to see him look at her the same way.  
    As if on cue, Moritz suddenly recalled an incident from when they were kids, back when he and Melchior were inseparable and nothing dared try to split them apart.  
    They were mindlessly playing in a field, tag if he recalls correctly, surrounded by newly sprouted plants; which seemed to glow under the sunlight, when Melchior grabbed Moritz's hand, and lead him to a scheduled bed of flowers distanced from the other boys.  
    Moritz foolishly remembered thinking the flowers were beautiful and romantic at the time.  
    He waited for the other boy to say something, not wanting to be the first to speak, but it seemed that Melchior was content at dazedly staring at him, so Moritz rose to the moment.  
    “Why we'd leave the other boys, Melchi?" Moritz nervously asked, fearing something might be wrong.  
    Melchior snapped out of his daze, shyly grinning with his response, "because I have something to tell you, Mor!"  
    Moritz gasped, putting together why Melchior had separated him from the others, "is it a secret? Whose?"  
    "Mine, maybe yours too," Melchior replied, looking slightly lost in thought.  
    "W-Whatever do you mean?" Moritz muttered, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, growing more anxious with each passing second.  
    Melchior let out a little giggle at Moritz's nervousness, "the secret is I love you, Moritz!"  
    Moritz was visibly taken back, his face flushing an ugly red as he struggled to stay still and not jump out of his skin, "Melchi! You can't love me! We're boys!"  
    For reasons he couldn't explain at the time, he felt regretful for those words.  
    Melchior replied with a facetious look and a sarcastic tone, "even if we're boys, I can still love you, duh."  
    It frightened Moritz how confident he was in his words, even now.

    Moritz grew uncomfortable with all of Melchior's attention upon him, so he diverted it away, "what about any of the girls? Ilse, Wendla? Don't you love them?"  
    The other boy thought for a minute before shaking his head, "not as much as you."  
    In a fit of embarrassment, Moritz shoved his head into his hands, mumbling mindlessly to himself.  
    "Oh Moritz," Melchior said, lightly pulling Moritz's hands apart so he was forced to look at him, "don't you love me too?"  
    Moritz's eyes bulged out of his head, "I-I don't know Melchi," he replied honestly, "I didn't think boys could love other boys."  
    As expected, Melchior mockingly replied, "well, I love you so obviously it can happen."  
    "O-Okay," Moritz nodded, "I-I guess I love you too then."  
    "Great!" Melchior grinned, grabbing Moritz's hand again and leading him back towards to the other boys, "we should get back now, I have a wicked plan to see if I can convince little Hansi Rillow to eat a spider."  
    Moritz giggled in response and they both laughed together on their way back, momentarily forgetting the little moment they had just shared.

    Moritz was snapped out of his thoughts by Melchior calling his name, sounding slightly aggravated implying he had been calling him for a while.  
    "I'm going to take Wendla for a quick stroll," he said, once Moritz looked up at him, his hand intertwined with Wendla’s, "take care of yourself, I'll be back in a few."  
    Moritz nodded, not daring to look him in the eye, still hung up and pondering what went on in these very fields all those years ago.  
    He watched as they walked off together, Melchior's confident, knowing stroll contrasting Wendla's nervously excited one, they worked together, so different yet alike, Moritz thought, making himself sick.  
    He looked around, searching for something to occupy himself with as he waited for Melchior's return when he noticed a flower bed in the distance.  
    The flower bed where Melchior said he loved him.  
    As he approached it, a deep sorrow filled his gut, a longing for something that never could be, but almost was.  
    The flowers were different from how he remembered, of course, the ones from his past having died and faded but, somehow deep down he knew, this was the same flower bed reborne that'd haunt him for years to come.  
    He sat within the new flowers, letting himself get engulfed within his own thoughts.

    Once the sun showed the first hint of lowering, Moritz knew Melchior wasn't coming back but, what hurt him most was that he wasn't surprised.  
    Melchior often talked of his desire for Wendla's heart, that topic actually making up a good chunk of their conversations nowadays, so it was foolish of Moritz to believe that Melchior would care for him anymore.  
_That he'd love him anymore._  
    He forced himself to get up from the spot he had previously been sunbathing in, particularly because he knew he'd start crying in the open if he stayed, and particularly because it was getting late and the wrath of his father was not something he was emotionally prepared to deal with tonight.  
    Once he got home, he made idle conversation with his father and was lightly scolded for not coming home sooner, however, this was nothing new. He convinced his father to excuse him from dinner for the night, with the hollow promise of catching up on school work and left to confine himself within his room, finally feeling secure to let his emotions pour out.  
    He began to sob into his pillow and made no effort to stop himself.

    Despite thinking it'd be a restless night of agony, Moritz ended up passing out about a quarter past ten, his dreams thankfully blank.  
    Once he got ready for the day, he decided to head over to Ernest's to study, they were both behind in their class and hanging out with someone who wasn't Melchior would be a good way to take his mind off of things.  
    Just as he was about to walk out, having already said his goodbyes to his father, he heard an impatience knock at his door.  
    Being only seconds away from it, he opened it in seconds, coming face to face with a flushed yet cocky looking Melchior.  
    "Ah, Moritz," He said, sounding slightly rattled, "you're here, perfect, hello." His words came out so jumbled and fast, that Moritz almost hadn't understood him, whatever he was so excited about had to have been riveting, considering this was a rare look to Melchior, yet Moritz forced himself to overlook it.  
    He mumbled, feeling slightly guilty, "I'm deeply sorry Melchior, but I have plans today, I cannot stay and talk."  
    Moritz tried to passively shove past Melchior yet Melchior grabbed his wrist, eyeing him suspiciously.  
    "What plans exactly?" He asked.  
    "I-I was going over to Ernest's to study, we're both behind, as you know and I feel that we could both benefit to the help of each other. I was go-"  
    Melchior raised his hand, which caused Moritz to immediately shut up (which he mentally cursed himself for) and gave a sly smirk, "Moritz, you're mumbling again and, besides no offense to Ernest but, you'd greatly benefit from my help versus that dear boy's. I can help you study after I talk to you."  
    ‘ _I talk to you,_ ’ Moritz thought, mentally mimicking Melchior, ‘ _not we talk to each other._ ’   
    Moritz knew he should insist that he go to Ernest's, that he should stand his ground but, he was weak and he knew it. He couldn't say no to Melchior and he knew Melchior knew this.  
    He was hopeless.  
    He let Melchior drag him further and further away from his house, dreading each step he took.

    Eventually, he and Melchior stopped walking, stopping at that same field that they were at just the day before.  
    He approached an empty patch of dead grass, far from any vegetation, and plopped down, patting a spot next to him for Moritz to sit. Moritz complied.  
    "W-What did you want to talk about Melchior?" Moritz asked, nervously fiddling with his hands.  
    "Ah, the most wonderful thing happened," Melchior started, looking off into the distance lovingly, "with Wendla yesterday."  
    Moritz frowned, rolling his eyes but, silently issuing Melchior to continue.  
    Melchior silently laughed at Moritz's bit of sass but continued on, "yesterday when we walked off -sorry about leaving you alone by the way but you'll understand why soon enough- Wendla grabbed my hand. It was lovely and her palm was as soft as satin, but it gets better, oh yes it does. We sat down in the woods and had a conversation about the beating of fathers to their daughters, and how Wendla had never felt that herself. She asked me to beat her so she'd know what it felt like for other girls, and I did although reluctantly, and dare I say I liked doing it. What do you think of that Moritz, was I wrong to have done it, to have enjoyed it?"  
    Moritz stared up at Melchior in slight fear, his hands trembling slightly, brief instances of his father beating him flashing before his eyes, he couldn't respond and he knew Melchior wasn't genuinely asking him so, it would be fruitless to even do so. He gave a weak shake of his head, and Melchior took it as an invitation to continue.  
    "After I did what she wanted, she ran off. Which was understandable of course, I beat her pretty terrible, but after a while of idle waiting, I went to find her. It didn't take too long though, she was just a few miles away, pressed against a tree. I apologized because I knew that was what she wanted, and in time, she let me perch down next to her. We passively talked, but that's not what's important. Now, tell me Moritz have you ever kissed a girl?"  
    Moritz's blood ran cold and his face flushed, "o-of course not, I-I've wouldn't know- No one would- I couldn't-" he stammered, unable to speak properly.  
    Melchior placed one of his hands gently on Moritz's shoulder and used the other hand to lift his chin til their eyes were locked. Naturally, Moritz's face flushed even worse and his breathing stayed rigid; more so actually, which Melchior frowned at. He kept staring and began to rub circles onto Moritz's skin until he had somewhat normal breathing.  
    "Sorry Mor," he said, concern in his eyes, "I already knew the answer, I shouldn't have asked."  
    Moritz nodded, wanting to desperately get past his fit of embarrassment, "well, um, a-anyway, based on your-your question, I-I'm assuming you kissed her?"  
    Melchior chuckled, "she actually kissed me."

    Moritz's eyes drew to the size of saucers as his heart sank to the bottom of his chest, despite knowing his would happen sooner or later, "s-she kissed you?"  
    "Indeed," he laughed softly, "surprised me even more than you, I didn't think she had it in her."  
    "Is-is that all that happened?"  
    "Well, not necessarily, when she kissed me it was a tentative peck, but once she pulled back, I grabbed her and brought her back in, that kiss was longer but still short-lasted, considering she ran off again afterward."  
    "You didn't go after her again?"  
    Melchior gave him a taunting smirk, "of course not, now that I know she's tempted, there's no need to chase after her."  
    "O-oh well, that's great, Melchi, I-I'm h-" Moritz spoke quietly, unable to say he was happy for him, he couldn't bring himself to lie to him.  
    Melchior luckily wasn't paying too much enough to him, seemingly lost in his own mind, "don't fret Moritz, you'll eventually find a girl who wants you too."  
    "I'm not worried," Moritz mumbled to himself.  
    Melchior gave him a look, one Moritz couldn't entirely figure out but noticed a hint of understanding within it, and nodded, "of course not, it was foolish of me to assume so."  
    Moritz said nothing and just simply stared up at Melchior, not knowing or wanting to find a way to continue the conversation.  
    Melchior seemed to sense this as he changed the subject, which Moritz was grateful for, "if that's all done with, let's get to studying then, hmm?" He said standing up.  
    "Studying?" Moritz asked dumbfounded, still on the ground, forgetting Melchior's earlier promise to him.  
    Melchior nodded, helping Moritz up, "yeah, let's head over to mine to study, it's Latin, you need help with right?"  
    He nodded, still barely comprehending anything and walked with Melchior back to his house.

    After a while of walking, they made it to Melchior's, greeting his mother and settling in his room. Melchior sat silently at his desk, settling his Latin papers, and awaiting Moritz's attention.  
    Moritz however, was lost in thought, thinking back on what Melchior told him earlier, a single question racking around his mind; did Melchior love Wendla?  
    "Moritz?" Melchior asked, raising his eyebrow at him, "you there?"  
    He snapped out of his thoughts with a gasp, glancing at Melchior embarrassedly, "oh-oh sorry, Melchi, I-I've got a lot on my mind..."  
    Melchior hummed, "you want to talk about it?"  
    "Do you love Wendla?" Moritz blurted suddenly, immediately blushing at his own bluntness.  
    Melchior replied with a wholehearted laugh, shocking Moritz at its genuineness, "oh Moritz, I don't, of course. I could, I definitely could in the future but, as of now no, I do not. Why do you ask?"  
    Melchior's answer surprised Moritz but relieved him at the same time, "I-I don't really know why I asked..." He said unnervingly but, Melchior gave him a knowing look, which did nothing to soothe him.  
    "Do you remember when we were younger? Probably around eight years ago, when I pulled you away from the other boys and we talked on that beautiful patch of flowers?"  
    Moritz's eyes grew wide, despite the vague description, he knew exactingly what Melchior was referring to, shocked that Melchior brought it up and that he even remembered but nodded along to his words.  
    Melchior gave him a look he couldn't figure out with fluttered eyelids, "when I told you I loved you?"  
    Moritz's breath hitched in his throat, his heartbeat quickening and a warm feeling settling in his gut, through a shaky breath he managed to speak, "y-yeah."  
    "I still do," He said calmly, his presence calm in comparison to Moritz's erratic one, "is that what was on your mind?"  
    "I-I don't--you...." Moritz tried to say to no avail, "that's not-I-"  
    Melchior cut him off quickly, his tone calm, "let's just get to studying, yeah Mor?"  
    Moritz nodded, not knowing what else to do and let Melchior attempt to teach him the Latin that his teacher couldn't but, in reality, it was all going over his head. His mind was too preoccupied with Melchior's words, his soft 'I still do' playing on a haunting repeat, mentally torturing him. He knew this was a fluke moment, that Melchior was just simply saying whatever he pleased not really meaning or acknowledging his own words affects but, he let himself develop a sliver of hope  
In reality, he was aware that the next day, Melchior would probably go back to courting Wendla, return to complimenting her, kissing her, touching her, that was known. For now, however, Moritz let himself have Melchior's attention, his love, at least for a little bit.  
    Wendla could have Melchior for hours and not realize how truly blessed she was, yet Moritz only had him for mere seconds and felt as if he had the world.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! if you're reading this, thank you so much! this is my first (actually finished) fic and i was kinda nervous about posting it, but i hope you liked it! i really appreciate you taking the time to read it lol, anyway thanks again and have a fantastic day :)


End file.
